User:DarwIn/Pigeonholing
Or How to Spend Your Lifetime Wild-Goose Chasing in the Commons Maze
Pigeonholing. A mere two weeks ago I didn't even knew what was the meaning of the word. I now understand, however, that I've been experimenting its nasty effects for years, with no end on sight.
Some time ago I wanted to make a Wikipedia article for the beautiful little village of Saint Grottus, hanging from the TransPanonyan peaks, in the small state of The Grand-Duchy of Brushtenwaltz (5000 souls, counting the Grand-Duke and his extended family). Happily and joyfully I went to Commons, in a quest for a proper image to illustrate my article.
After an auspicious start, with little trouble finding the Brushtenwaltz category, things began getting more complicated. There was not a single image in that category, but hundreds of other categories. I tentatively chose Geography of Brushtenwaltz, then Divisions of Brushtenwaltz, then Administrative divisions of Brushtenwaltz, then Departments of Brushtenwaltz, then Municipalities of Brushtenwaltz, then Municipality of Brushtenwaltz (the only one in that state, actually), then Cities and villages in the municipality of Brushtenwaltz. To my disappointment, I found only the capital - inside yet another category, Brushtenwaltzburgh. Out of curiosity I looked inside that category, and was met with a myriad of subcategories, but still no images at all.
To make a long story shorter, I'll just say that all that was there was a single picture of the Grand-Duke Castle, categorised as "Buildings in Brushtenwaltzburgh -> Castles in Brushtenwaltzburgh -> 14th century castles in Brushtenwaltzburgh -> 14th century gothic castles in Brushtenwaltzburgh, and a myriad of other categories, ranging from "Tourist attractions in Brushtenwaltzburgh" to "Females of Brushtenwaltzburgh facing left and holding a small white dog of unidentified race" (this last one due to the incidental appearance of a castle servant - which was Portuguese, in fact - casting a stray dog out of the castle door. Unfortunately, the picture was a blatant copyright violation from the Brushtenwaltz Tourism website, and was speedy deleted. Oh well. So much for all that categorisation.
But back to Saint Grottus. After hours chasing my way in the Kafkian meanders of the Brushtenwaltz categories, I actually did found a picture of the village. It was lost inside a single category named "Pictures of grey things with green background in Brushtenwaltz". It's the monument of Saint Grottus holding the virgin nun which he miraculously saved from choking to death with a small pork bone during the Coronation festivals of the Year of the Grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ of 1178. It's so blurred that it's completely useless, but I still placed it inside the proper category of "Cities and villages in the municipality of Brushtenwaltz", and got back to the article.
Shortly after, it was removed again from "Cities and villages in the municipality of Brushtenwaltz", with the argument that "it doesn't show a village". Indeed, what it shows is a "grey thing with green background". How useful such a category could be remains a total mystery, but at least the picture is not polluting "Cities and villages in the municipality of Brushtenwaltz" anymore.
- Epilogue
Months passed, until the day someone came in and found a 1735 proclamation of Grand-Duke Leovigild XIX forbidding people from "depicting views of the country", due to espionage concerns in the ongoing war with the neighbour state of Brushenwaltz (without the "t"). Apparently there is no FOP in Brushtenwaltz. Apparently someone could copy that blurred mess and make a similar statue of Saint Grottus holding the virgin nun out of it. Picture deleted, end of story.
Darwin Ahoy! 15:32, 9 June 2011 (UTC)
Disclaimer: All names of people and places in this essay are fictional, any resemblance to reality is mere coincidence. The described issues and problems are not fictional, however.